The Spinster's Exploits

I am reminded of the great Otis Redding song composed and written by Woods, Campbell and Cornelly. An unexpected weekend made me take time to think about friendships, relationships and love in its many varied forms.

My friend Nina who is a whole six months my senior, is having health problems that are potentially life threatening and the treatment is causing her challenging levels of pain. I know I can take knowledge of her pain, but I can also make her laugh. Both are important.

And I visited my lover’s home for the first time. For reasons that make perfect sense historically and emotionally it felt like a big deal. I arrived for a Thursday evening enroute from my sister’s and prepared to stay for a few hours or overnight, depending on how he found my invasion. I’d suggested the visit as an ice-breaker and he had seemed keen to agree so I was feeling positive but open to all possibilities – or so I thought…

Previous to this extra-curricular visit we’d arranged for him to come to me on the Friday for the weekend.

Meanwhile I’d been feeling smug at my resistance to his germs until I awoke on the following Tuesday morning at about 2a.m with sniffles and a scratchy throat! I had a duvet day, but travelled to my sister’s for a couple of days on the Wednesday as arranged.

And so I arrived that Thursday evening full of non-serious but frustrating and energy sapping lurgy…

And I was welcomed warmly to the smell of home-made casserole at my lover’s pleasant but imperfect (as are most – including mine!) home which was in far-better nick than I’d imagined. Not only wasn’t he bustling me out of the doorway but he’d texted asking if I was staying overnight. I’d said yes please, with a warning that at that stage of my cold my snoring may be supersonic… And then the welcome got extended to the weekend which made more sense than him coming to me as I was already at his…

He was fine about my cold – as I’d been about his. And it’s the little things that touch one I think – like him chopping the mushrooms so finely that they added to the casserole without the mushroom “mouth feel”.

Meanwhile I got a text from Nina telling me how awful she was feeling and promising to update me if I was willing. I told her I wanted to know, and wanted to “gallivant” with her as soon as possible – anything from an hour to a fortnight – whatever she could do. She has a concerned and loving family who I suspect she is protecting. I also told her I was at my lover’s home for the first time and he didn’t appear to have a dead mother in a chair upstairs and I’d fill her in when she was ready for silly gossip.

I made her laugh and she christened my missives as “The Spinster’s Mystery and Imagination Series”

The next missive informed her that I survived the night “and sent him down to make me a cuppa, I am invited for another night so will be here for Hallowe’en. He DOES have an attic and no mention of a dead mother but apparently there are sex games – watch this space!”

I later informed Nina I was still alive and she said she was glad to hear it and hoped I was “having a jolly good seeing to!” I responded that “not so far – I’m full of a cold and in danger of coughing myself to death – we’ve taken turns to be poorly and we’re on  promise for future naughtiness.”

Her lovely response was “Well, tenderness is nice” and I couldn’t agree more.

Nina has a way of putting her finger on things for me – hence my musings on tenderness. She added that “she hoped that things are progressing in a satisfactory manner…” – so Nina! – and that she hoped he made me feel good. And he does – as I believe I do him. We may not be conventional and I’m still amazed at how open to things I feel, but we have a lovely time together with scorching sex, and no sex and with simple walks, TV, mooching, domesticity, cuddles, chatter, silence and giggles.

I am blessed to have amazing people in my life.