The Spinster's Exploits

So – I knew how to wank for my own pleasure. Don’t remember that I bothered much, but when I did – it was always to spanky fantasies. I was curious about dildoes and was familiar with banana and cucumber nudge, nudge, wink, wink stuff. Out of curiosity I did try inserting cylindrical objects, but they did nothing for me so clitoral rubbing was it – when I bothered.

Back in the seventies and eighties there was no Internet, no Anne Summers, condoms were below the counter in chemists and barbers only and sex shops were strictly men only it appeared – and absolutely terrifying. The seventies were also the days of magazines such as Cosmo discussing sex and possibly ads for vibes – but I’m a bit hazy. I think I may have seen an ad for a vibe called the “Non doctor”.

So – I was in my twenties, living in Cardiff, reading racy women’s mags and also Forum the “magazine of Human relations” so pretty knowledgeable, and curious. I was in a relationship, and we decided to get me a vibe. The only possible place was a shop in a Cardiff arcade selling “marital aids”, so we screwed our courage to the sticking place and went for it. I remember being absolutely terrified, but we did it. We went in and said we wanted a vibrator. So we were shown the famous Non Doctor – all black and sleek and not at all dildo-like.

I was trying to be very cool and adult about it all and I think my then-boyfriend saying very little. The purveyor of marital aids then set the thing going, commented on the vibration or speed and held it out towards me. I touched it, felt the buzz in my fingers and made what I hoped were knowledgeable sounds of approval – a bit like a car engine or washing machine demo. And so I became the quite secretive owner of my first vibe!