The Spinster's Exploits

Sex, sensuality and possibly spanking after seventy…

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about

The Spinster is a 70-year-old South Walian who doesn’t believe sex, sensuality and fun stop at seventy. There is more to growing old disgracefully than wearing purple 💜- although she does love purple! She considers herself to have dual sexuality as she loves vanilla but something gets unleashed when she is spanked by the right person… She is excited to have reached this significant milestone and thrilled to discover erotic possibilities can be there for the taking. Oh! And she can be a touch up herself and talk about herself in the third person – but nothing a good spanking won’t cure!😉🤭

  • …and in with the new…

    Happy New year – officially!

    I like to have a positive start and have had a lovely day which may just sound a tad boring, but worked for me!

    Had a leisurely start and a bath once the house had heated up and read P&P from the tub – very un-Austen behaviour I suspect! I forgot what a page-turner she could be – especially when a woman’s reputation hangs in the balance…

    I made myself a “proper” dinner – a mix of fresh and leftover ingredients but still a proper roast with lashings of gravy…

    I planned a walk, but was put off by the weather, although I did have a little stroll in the early evening.

    I’ve watched TV and listened to the radio and even did some laundry – the towels that we took to the naturist resort – happy memories! They’ve been slipping down the priority list because not needed and bulky. And also, not awfully dirty, but what we sat on to protect the furniture at the site! So now they’re all ready for our next naturist adventure in the Spring…

    I’m a bit ache-y, so some solo tai-chi qi gong to follow I think, but otherwise a very indulgent evening.

    I have been musing on my past and thoughts and ideas. I have a vivid memory of being “single”, reading until 2 in the morning and enjoying a garlic sausage roll and cuppa. I remember thinking how lucky I was to enjoy being single or coupled-up as the two states had different pleasures and I enjoyed both. I tended to have spent most nights with lovers when in a relationship up to that point.

    I would never have imagined being polyamorous in my seventies or having a life where I get to enjoy the single and coupled-up pleasures simultaneously!

  • Out with the old…

    I hate saying happy New year before it actually happens, but WhatsApp is full of effusive greetings. I like to start the new year as positively as possible, and this year have also ended 2025 positively and delightfully as well – and very spinsterish!

    I am home alone once again – and – again – happily so! I have entertained my sister and dog, and spent a couple of days with my lover so have had a lovely extended Christmas. And today I am back to spinsterish pleasures. I made an amazing roast lamb and roast veg soup, did some necessary washing up and freezer-sorting plus some laundry. I have lolled a lot once more and plans for solo tai chi and/or a walk evaporated…

    I did however watch lots of “Younger” and some Doctor Who specials and am up to date with the news and The Archers… This was tempered by my progress with Pride and Prejudice – just as good as remembered. Was wondering how to follow Ms Austen, and luckily my lover bought me the latest two Richard Osmonds – I do love contrasts…

    I also did an unplanned errand of mercy for a neighbour, but unsuccessfully as the car dealership was unsurprisingly closed at 4.30 on New Year’s Eve… Oh, well – I tried…

    Lots of premature ejaculation of the firework variety going on at the moment. Seems very inappropriate, but I’m sure it makes sense to the celebrants…

  • Spinsterish Christmas thoughts on “Love Actually”, Austen and knickers…

    …though not necessarily in that order…

    I woke happily and early to my turkey crown gently cooking in the slow cooker and prepared for a day of indulgence. I decided to be properly dressed, and as planning on trousers, required knickers. Most of the time I go commando, but not usually with trousers or tights. Although choosing to dress in fresh clothes, I decided sluttishly and wantonly that yesterday’s knickers would do…

    I am happy to get a second day’s wear out of my underwear if I and them are reasonably clean and I’m not socialising. And yes – I do do the sniff test!  This is a totally different mindset from what my friend calls the “stink as I stand” philosophy where I do not wash for several days due to feeling poorly and apathetic – aware that I am definitely not fit for company but wallowing in my weakness and illness. I enjoy the feral nature of metaphorically licking my wounds in my sweaty bed aware of my stinky, poorly self. Luckily this is followed by the pleasure of that first wobbly bath or shower, a clean bed and fresh clothes – definitely a time for fresh knickers if knickers are required.

    And having recently talked with pleasure at my lover’s bodily fluids, it seems the time to make a comparison with the great Marilyn Monroe! I have very little in common with the actress, but I remember discovering that she rarely wore knickers and didn’t like to wash too soon after sex; revelling in the imprint of her lover. Apparently, she had to be tactfully made aware of the need for a wash!

    I can totally empathise. I love the thought and knowledge of carrying traces of my lover after we have been together. I put off washing for as long as decently possible and enjoy feeling the evidence of our time together on my body. So far, nobody has had to have a tactful word!

    My Christmas day was filled with a lot of lolling about and reclining on the sofa, but I did manage an impressive turkey roast dinner for one. I had five sprouts as a nod to tradition but lots of roast veg, new potatoes, stuffing, pigs in blankets and gravy with said turkey. Turkey a tad boring, but rest was impressive and cooked the way I like.

    As well as festive music and “Strictly”, my chosen films were “Love Actually” and “E.T.” Today I read a piece about “Love Actually” saying it was a great film if you overlook the dodginess of the doorstep/placard scene! There seemed to be an assumption that its ‘stalkerishness’ was an accepted fact – well – not by me! For me – he was in love and cared about his friend deeply and was doing his best to be honourable – and – I believe – successfully so. It seems, he wanted her to know how he felt without expecting anything from her, except her knowledge of his feelings. A sympathetic kiss from her seemed an appropriate benevolence and a closing of a chapter.

    Of course if it were Austen, he would have suffered in silence and never declared himself – if he was the Elinor type! If he was Marianna, the whole world would have known! But of course,  we can now correspond with members of the opposite sex or look inside their houses without it assumed we are betrothed or be forever shamed for our forwardness… I love the contrast between the wanton and the controlled she captures so well. I was up half an hour past my planned bedtime to finish “Sense and Sensibility” and thoroughly enjoyed it. “Pride and Prejudice” is next.

    And – as ever – lovely to exchange messages on that new-fangled WhatsApp with my lover!

  • A Spinsterly Christmas – Home alone…

    …and happily so. I am enjoying this season of festivity and having a new polyamorous lover in my life that I’m sort of dating. We had a couple of sleepovers at his around the Solstice and I went to my sister’s for a Solstice lunch. And at his, I was cooked for and looked after before we went our separate ways.

    I have had a lovely – if weird-sounding Christmas Eve. I caught up with my washing up mountain, decanted home-made soup ready for freezing, made inroads into the laundry pile, sorted a clothing pile, did some tidying and bought cornflour, pasties and a washing up bowl! I also listened to Christmas music and watched Christmas telly and had a lovely relaxed day.

    I am looking forward to more seasonal TV, an episode of The Archers and more Jane Austen – I am now well into “Sense and Sensibility” – and am so happy to be a woman in the 21st century and not regency times! Loving the book though. One thing about a dodgy memory – rereading is a great and sometimes surprising pleasure! I have my Welsh Duolingo to do and may do some puzzles if the mood takes me. I am also soaking some potato strips in preparation for an air frier chip experiment!

    I am looking forward to another couple of home-alone days and will be cooking my turkey crown overnight ready for a day of sheer indulgence tomorrow. And then I shall be sociable again and feed my sister and friend on Saturday and still have a further Christmas celebration with my lover to come – I am enjoying my extended Christmastide so far – after all – there are supposed to be 12 days…

  • Celebrating the male orgasm…

    I try not to assume what my lover wants or is up for, but of course one does assume and have patterns – nevertheless I try…

    Once again, I had had an amazingly erotic time, resulting in my orgasm through lots of attention from him and my trusty vibe – and it was obviously good for him as he had a rather lovely erection which we were both caressing casually in passing like a well-behaved but eager pet… And so I asked what he’s like to do… And he decided to come all over me, which seemed a pretty hot idea as we both continued to pay him attention.

    We just love the other coming – there is something so amazing at that journey and surrender and pleasure. Of course, orgasms can be perfunctionary, or necessary or an anti-climax of a climax; but – more often than not – coming in the presence of a partner is usually pretty hot. And it is fabulous to be part of the journey and witness the point of no return.

    I wanted to know when he was close so he told me and I encouraged the moment of release where I was liberally showered and enjoyed rubbing it in to both our bodies and finding out where the last puddles were hiding…

    Now I never see this in films and dramas, but I am curious about the post-coming Great Mop Up. I’d rather not have anyone sleep in the damp patch, so I usually have boxes of tissues at both sides of the bed and am very quick to whip them out! I am an expert at a post-coital clean-up and am happy to lick off any sneaky bit I missed on his cock – I am extremely fond of a spent and dormant cock…

    So other than preventing a damp patch, I am quite relaxed at the messiness of sex despite my Olympian speed at grabbing the tissues!

    Semen does seem to rub into the skin very easily, and not be a problem and there is something very sexy at being bathed in his ejaculate and wearing it invisibly for a while…

  • She wasn’t famed for the strength of her knicker elastic…

    …the fabulous words of Libby Purves on some of the shady ladies of Ambridge on the Radio 4 Archers Podcast – as insults go, this is a fabulous way to put down the less sexually continent! And a good reminder of the amazing history of some of the womenfolk and a reflection of the changes of sexual culture they – and we – have lived through.

    As a seventy-year-old I grew up with the illegality of homosexuality, severe restrictions of female sexuality, the so-called sexual revolution, the acceptance of divorce and blended families, the pornification of culture and so much more…

    I definitely have strong Archers Anarchist tendencies, and love the idea of Sanctimonious Shula or Posho Caroline having been labelled the Village Bike, despite the screaming double standards. Libby’s rollcall of the sexual shenanigans in Ambridge was hilarious and very diverse – an eye-opener to those who think it’s always cosy…

    And the delve through The Archers, my awareness of the pornification of our culture and toxic misogyny as well as recent reports of strangulation being seen as a “normal” sexual activity have given me pause for thought.

    I see myself as a sexual liberal but am aware that I have my blindspots and prejudices which I do my best to understand. I believe in sexual freedom but along with responsibility and protection. I also saw myself as pro-erotica and anti-porn, but am aware that is a matter of definition and even snobbery. I was also brought to a thoughtful standstill by friend’s daughter over a decade ago who saw porn as an everyday thing and had no problem with the idea of a boyfriend viewing it – it was a private matter for her. Would be interesting to get her update, though – she’s now a married mother of a couple of children…

    I have no idea where boundaries should be, I just know that virginal youngsters’ introduction to sexuality shouldn’t be based on strangulation and/or a man coming over a woman’s face plus the idea that a hairy fanny is a filthy abomination.

  • Jane Austen Anniversary – Lady Susan

    It’s 250 years ago this week that Jane Austen was born and she’s being celebrated on the Beeb and elsewhere, so I thought I’d re-read the “big six”. On checking order, I came across “Lady Susan”, an epistolary novella that pre-dates the big hitters. I think I’ve read it before. But it made less of an impression on my memory than the others, which I’ve read several times.

    It’s rather interesting having a “bad” character at front and centre and no authorial voice. We only know the characters from what they say about themselves to others in their letters, and what others say about them!

    I’m beginning to think that Lady S is either a thwarted Domme or a potential emotional and cerebral dominatrix who takes pleasure in the submission of others and her belief in her own innate superiority! Very entertaining so far – and I don’t yet know if she gets her comeuppance. Austen was a very moral writer I find, who likes goodness to win, but also a very clever and intellectually thwarted woman. She must have had great fun creating Lady S!

  • Some (welcome but) unexpected Domliness – and a further battle in the War of the Soxes…

    So it’s been a while since I blogged – sometimes life gets in the way of writing and of sex and play, but I love the way sex and play can be in one’s connection with one’s lover – and so it is,  even when we don’t do more than have a quick snog or a lovely cwtch or cuddle every now and then.

    And life is so often complex, and shit happens as they say – as does lovely stuff – but that too, can be as time-consuming as the brown stuff! So – I have some time to reflect and write, which is fabulous…

    The last-but-one visit of my lover was somewhat focussed on me getting Christmas-ready – not an easy task but – for me – a fun one. And he was lovely about it and supportive. On the day of his arrival, we did have a lovely time in bed for cuddling, snogging and chilling – and I had a fabulous orgasm with my lovely vibe thanks to his thoughtful and sexy ministrations. And then we were somewhat overtaken by my Welsh chat group, food, as many episodes of “Lucifer” we could sanely watch and the palaver that is my Christmas Wonderland – everything from my 50p “tasteful” ornaments from purveyors of bad taste to my latest pop-up nativity scenes and through Christmas gonks, a candle arch, woodland creatures and lights galore – all needing fetching from the attic and lots of sorting…

    We had a lovely weekend and both were dressed very sensibly for our demanding tasks. And so we were chilling after putting up various lights outside – including hog-tying my naff golden fawn to my porch! Slight exaggeration – but he does come with his own bondage kit and it did take two of us to secure him to said porch!

    And there I was in my sensible loose ankle-cuffed pyjama style trousers warm top and socks when my lover suddenly told me to kneel! Now I am seventy, but – as previously said – quite flexible – kneeling however, is a bit of a challenge. I was nevertheless, immediately turned on and wondering what was possible… Luckily, he was thinking of my fabulous bucket chair so I was able to excitedly “assume the position” as they say, kneeling on said chair and bending over the back of it, immediately afire with lust.

    Now I do like to put a little planning into my sex life, but I do also love spontaneity and sometimes(!) doing as I’m told. So me dressed for practical stuff and no toys at hand is not ideal – but what the heck! – he was in charge and I was very excited…

    I was ordered to pull down trousers and knickers and not to move. I happily but nervously complied as I heard him go upstairs in search of the instruments to cause me pain and both of us pleasure…

    And he returned happy with my compliance but ready to give me some punishment anyway. He was quite fierce, but read me well enough that he didn’t make me ask for it to stop or lessen, but got me close to it several times.

    When he was satisfied with his work I was ordered to remove my knickers and trousers. And I was so tempted to push, but did a half-push instead and I did ask about the sox… And of course he said they were to stay as I knew he would, amused at my anti-sock aesthetic. He managed to keep a straight face although he clearly heard my muttered “Bastard!”

    And so I ended up sat on the sofa in my top and sox with his gorgeous cock in my mouth which was amazing despite the bloody sox!

    And then, still socked, I was ordered over the back of the chair once more for an amazingly hard fuck. I must admit – I did forget all about the sox at that point…

    I think I’ve already said that I am very clitoral and don’t get vaginal orgasms but enjoy the sensation of a cock inside me. And that sensation can be amazing – especially after a good beating and the opportunity to worship his lovely cock before being rudely fucked from behind over the chair where I had received said beating.

    It was a really positive mind-fuck with the most amazing physical sensations. And having someone who cares about my pleasure choosing this time to simply satisfy himself through me was mind-blowingly sexy. I have just paused and sighed at the memory – as I have done several times since then…  I know I’m not a sub, but I love how I enjoy my sub times with him as part of our fabulous fun repertoire.

  • Some Vanilla Thoughts…

    I tend to watch catch-up TV and I pay ITV and Channel 4 catch-up to be ad-free. Now Netflix are showing some ads and I’ve watched some live TV recently, I am now taking part in that great British pastime – moaning about the ads! The one I absolutely hate is the one with people appearing to have ice-cream cones as phones! I just didn’t get it – until my polyamorous-friend-with-benefits-who-I-am- sort-of-dating explained that the advertisers were showing that all other phones were vanilla compared with theirs!

    I had noticed this cultural shift where anything safe – and possibly boring – was now being labelled sniffily as vanilla! Obviously, we’re all so cool now (or hot or whatever) that we cannot possibly stomach the blandness of the so-called vanilla!

    As a kink who loves vanilla I come to praise vanilla and not to bury it in an unmarked grave of shame!

    There was a fabulous piece I once heard on the radio about just how complex vanilla plants are and the trouble it takes to get decent Madagascar vanilla beans. Personally, I love the smell and taste of good vanilla whether it is a fragrant ice-cream, that delicious staple – Bird’s custard – or a decent slice of madeira cake.

    Apparently one of the joys of ‘nilla (and I’m still talking food…) Is that it brings out other flavours. I think it’s a shame that such a lovely sensual flavour is so often seen as a non-flavour – You can get dairy ice-cream which is the plain sort – and from the right producer is also delicious. But vanilla is definitely a proper flavour in its own right!

    The radio programme also featured an experiment where people thought they were getting plain yoghurt, but were given vanilla – and their satisfaction/reward receptors registered their delight.

    And I feel the same about the choices in the erotic repertoire – yes – there are all sorts of delicious flavours out there, but a really good quality vanilla is fabulous on its own and goes very nicely with other flavours without losing its own delicious sense of self.

    I would rather not be looked down upon because I like getting my bottom smacked; dissolve into a puddle when my lover chooses to tell me what he wants me to do or I have enjoyed tying him up and hitting him.

    And I hate the thought of some kinky folk thinking they are more cutting edge or in some way superior to others who can get their kicks through conventional sex. All flavours – including vanilla – should be equal and we simply get to experiment or find ourselves irresistibly drawn to our particular flavour.

  • Try a little tenderness…

    I am reminded of the great Otis Redding song composed and written by Woods, Campbell and Cornelly. An unexpected weekend made me take time to think about friendships, relationships and love in its many varied forms.

    My friend Nina who is a whole six months my senior, is having health problems that are potentially life threatening and the treatment is causing her challenging levels of pain. I know I can take knowledge of her pain, but I can also make her laugh. Both are important.

    And I visited my lover’s home for the first time. For reasons that make perfect sense historically and emotionally it felt like a big deal. I arrived for a Thursday evening enroute from my sister’s and prepared to stay for a few hours or overnight, depending on how he found my invasion. I’d suggested the visit as an ice-breaker and he had seemed keen to agree so I was feeling positive but open to all possibilities – or so I thought…

    Previous to this extra-curricular visit we’d arranged for him to come to me on the Friday for the weekend.

    Meanwhile I’d been feeling smug at my resistance to his germs until I awoke on the following Tuesday morning at about 2a.m with sniffles and a scratchy throat! I had a duvet day, but travelled to my sister’s for a couple of days on the Wednesday as arranged.

    And so I arrived that Thursday evening full of non-serious but frustrating and energy sapping lurgy…

    And I was welcomed warmly to the smell of home-made casserole at my lover’s pleasant but imperfect (as are most – including mine!) home which was in far-better nick than I’d imagined. Not only wasn’t he bustling me out of the doorway but he’d texted asking if I was staying overnight. I’d said yes please, with a warning that at that stage of my cold my snoring may be supersonic… And then the welcome got extended to the weekend which made more sense than him coming to me as I was already at his…

    He was fine about my cold – as I’d been about his. And it’s the little things that touch one I think – like him chopping the mushrooms so finely that they added to the casserole without the mushroom “mouth feel”.

    Meanwhile I got a text from Nina telling me how awful she was feeling and promising to update me if I was willing. I told her I wanted to know, and wanted to “gallivant” with her as soon as possible – anything from an hour to a fortnight – whatever she could do. She has a concerned and loving family who I suspect she is protecting. I also told her I was at my lover’s home for the first time and he didn’t appear to have a dead mother in a chair upstairs and I’d fill her in when she was ready for silly gossip.

    I made her laugh and she christened my missives as “The Spinster’s Mystery and Imagination Series”

    The next missive informed her that I survived the night “and sent him down to make me a cuppa, I am invited for another night so will be here for Hallowe’en. He DOES have an attic and no mention of a dead mother but apparently there are sex games – watch this space!”

    I later informed Nina I was still alive and she said she was glad to hear it and hoped I was “having a jolly good seeing to!” I responded that “not so far – I’m full of a cold and in danger of coughing myself to death – we’ve taken turns to be poorly and we’re on  promise for future naughtiness.”

    Her lovely response was “Well, tenderness is nice” and I couldn’t agree more.

    Nina has a way of putting her finger on things for me – hence my musings on tenderness. She added that “she hoped that things are progressing in a satisfactory manner…” – so Nina! – and that she hoped he made me feel good. And he does – as I believe I do him. We may not be conventional and I’m still amazed at how open to things I feel, but we have a lovely time together with scorching sex, and no sex and with simple walks, TV, mooching, domesticity, cuddles, chatter, silence and giggles.

    I am blessed to have amazing people in my life.