The Spinster's Exploits

Sex, sensuality and possibly spanking after seventy…

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about

The Spinster is a 70-year-old South Walian who doesn’t believe sex, sensuality and fun stop at seventy. There is more to growing old disgracefully than wearing purple 💜- although she does love purple! She considers herself to have dual sexuality as she loves vanilla but something gets unleashed when she is spanked by the right person… She is excited to have reached this significant milestone and thrilled to discover erotic possibilities can be there for the taking. Oh! And she can be a touch up herself and talk about herself in the third person – but nothing a good spanking won’t cure!😉🤭

  • Milestones – nostalgia and appreciation of mystery tours

    Well – was about to blog about my recent experiences, when I noticed an entry on my birthday calendar. It is just over a year since the anniversary of first contact with the ex who was pivotal to my kink journey – and of his son’s birthday! I tend to remember the dates of our first meeting and further firsts we shared but for him first contact remained pivotal – and the birthday probably helped to cement the date!

    So, 23 years ago I was in a loving but sexless monogamous relationship, recovering my mental health and energy, writing spanking fiction and looking for a safe outlet for my spanky creative attempts and returning libido. I did actually advertise on the spanking site where we met, but he messaged me before seeing my ad. My ad is super-cringey to me now, but an absolute reflection of who and where I was at the time:

    “Naughty Lady/Spanking for Softies: All Talk

    Hello!

    I’m new to site and looking for some fun exchanges of the cyber kind.

    I am a large curvy forty-something female, happily tied and living in Wales.

    I’m not looking to meet or confuse r/l with fantasy, but I’ve been fantasising about being spanked for as long as I can remember. I’ve enjoyed browsing and think chatting would be even more fun. The chat rooms seem fast and confusing. I’m quite bright but a bit slow and can’t text so leisurely chats are more my style.

    My fantasies are mild, but I’m good on detail. Being put over a man’s knee (lover or justifiably irate potential lover preferably) is my favourite scenario. I’m very influenced by 50’s movies and imagery. Being bent over a suitable piece of furniture is also very erotic. I’m all for tradition and a hand on my bottom is my favourite idea but I thrill at the thought of hairbrush, slipper or dap. I’m intrigued by American paddles and rattan carpet beaters but can’t take wooden spoons seriously. I go weak at the knees with apprehension and uncertainty at the thought of a swishy cane, firm yardstick or whippy plastic ruler… I did say I was a softy…

    I like clothing to be there for appropriate rearranging and uncovering… Nudity seems a bit boring. I’m not into humiliation other than actual spanking and appropriate lecture on behaviour and fate.

    I would find male spanker correspondents a sexy thrill – Sort of X-rated flirting.

    I’m also interested in finding women who understand where I’m coming from and would enjoy similar fantasies or reality on these lines. I’ve been busy putting these ideas into writing and wonder if there is a market for my particular tastes.

    Not sure of netiquette. It would be lovely if people responded here (joined thread?) or sent me messages.”

    And now at 71, I remember him with affection and thanks and consider my more recent journeys. I am now a happy polyamorist in a lovely sort-of-dating sort-of-relationship with a fabulous foot-loose, sort-of-switchy-sub-identifying friend, playmate and lover – what a journey. And so lovely to have arrived here, although it has been a bit of a mystery tour!

    And I get to my computer and discover this will be my 100th blog entry – so happy 100th to me – sort of!

    And I will get around to recent stuff – especially as it features my fabulous F-L,S-o-S-S-etc celebrating a year of our fun!

  • Life Coach

    The opening of a little something I wrote a while back…

    Becky knew she was in trouble. She knew that although she usually had all the answers she often didn’t manage to put them into place. She could see life coaching made sense. She knew from her counselling experience that just telling someone your intentions often made it easier to actually do something.

    The idea of cyber–coaching was intriguing The as well as practical. She knew she’d meet her coach face-to-face as necessary – Well, she thought uncomfortably, not exactly face-to-face as he was clear to point out his unusual methods… the contract was very clear. She would only agree to tasks they both decided were reasonable, achievable and in her best interests. He would encourage her and if she failed to keep her side of the contract she would be spanked.

    Becky realised that finding a life-coach on the spanking site was unusual, but as she was an unpublished writer of the genre it wasn’t surprising she browsed there. She was open to admitting that she fantasised about spanking but she was definitely not looking for real-life experience; at least that’s what she told herself. She also told herself that as she was scrupulous about honouring contracts she would have an additional incentive to keep to her resolutions. She didn’t want to end up skirts raised and knickers down over a stranger’s lap did she? At least that’s another thing she told herself…

    There were so many reasons she hadn’t kept up her carefully planned resolutions. Life was so complicated. She knew this was true but if she wasn’t too proud to have admitted this, she was confident that the Coach would have been reasonable and suggested rescheduling. But, no, Becky had struggled on determinedly and pig-headedly and the result was just more chaos. Deep down she knew she was probably testing boundaries to find out if the Coach was ‘a safe pair of hands’. She shivered as she thought about the plans those ‘safe hands’ now had for her. She realised her spanking was going to be more about attitude, trust and boundaries than incomplete tasks.

    And so the very grown-up, independent Becky found herself stood on the Coach’s doorstep, shaking with dread, anticipation and no little sexual excitement. Of course Becky tried to deny the excitement; why that would almost mean admitting she had engineered this! She was wearing a simple frock that was full-skirted and mid-calf in length. Although Becky was a big woman she liked to be unrestricted and her big breasts rested easily in the slightly fitted bodice of her frock. She didn’t realise that despite the warmth of the day, her nipples were stiff with excitement and clearly visible through her cotton dress. She preferred stockings to tights and her smart, dark hosiery were held up by a pretty black suspender belt. She was glad she’d worn her high-heeled sandals as they made her feel sexy and confident usually, but as her legs trembled she wondered if they were such a good idea. Becky was wide-hipped and wore high-cut black French knickers. They covered most of her big bottom and gently flared out under her dress as she stood there on the Coach’s doorstep. They did not quite cover the whole of her generous bum and she knew the lower curve of her cheeks would be visible if she raised her dress. She also knew that if she bent over (and she knew she would be doing so) her knickers would tighten over her rump and leave part of her poor bottom exposed for his ministrations. She also knew that although her first spanking would be over her knickers, she was also to receive further punishment that the Coach had described as ‘on the bare…’

    Becky liked to be punctual and had ensured she’d allowed plenty of time to be ringing his bell at the exact hour they had agreed. As well as her notes, and usual feminine paraphernalia her handbag contained the frighteningly solid wooden hairbrush she’d been instructed to buy and bring. Becky tried to convince herself that her shopping trip to Debenhams had not left her weak kneed with excitement as well as dread. Becky was a liberated woman and had no problems with coming to terms with her need for occasional solo-pleasure. She may not be in the habit of rushing for her vibrator after a shopping trip but it was probably her hormones, she told herself. She knew she couldn’t really kid herself. As Becky had worn down her batteries and thought about sliding that solid wooden handle into herself she imagined the Coach making firmer use of the flat head on her terrified bum. She told herself once more that she was only interested in fantasy as she heard him approach the door…

  • Kinky Probation Officer?

    At 54 I became single and this evolved into a friends with benefits philosophy as I wanted fun, intimacy and sex and didn’t want to hang around waiting for Mr Right. If he came along, I was more than happy to change my lifestyle, but I wasn’t going to just hang around hoping, when there are so many Mr GoodEnoughs out there. This kind of morphed into polyamory and has worked well for me this past 17 years, but can be hard for some to get their heads around.

    A while back I met a pleasant, easy-going Mr GoodEnough and he was bruised from a recent break up. It seemed he had been unfaithful. He was very easy company – one of those men so laid back that he was practically horizontal as they say. He seemed happy with on-going no-strings casual, but I suspect was used to a partner’s disapproval!

    He was one of the laziest men I’d ever met, but that was fine. I’d ask him about his week and to my amusement, he’d start to list any achievements which may be true or not… I would remind him he was his own man and tell him I wasn’t his wife or Probation Officer! And that has kind of become my mantra, explaining to men that having me in their life didn’t mean guilt trips and duties. I expect to be treated with respect and consideration – as I treat them. As long as they are not compromising their health and well-being, I feel their behaviour is not my business. As a friend, however, I would be concerned if I thought they were in a bad place and would always try to be supportive – the joys of boundaries in a complex world!

    So – I have been thinking about my Subby Spiritual Elf. When we were friends with benefits before, he was actively improving his life and seemed to get a lot from encouragement and my approval. I knew he was a cross dresser but he hadn’t “come out” as subby although he knew I was a spankee. As a friend I was happy to support his self-improvement efforts.

    And now he is back in my life naked, or dressed as a maid and doing my washing up when not being a bedroom slave. He’s been through some other changes of lifestyle, and once again, looking to self-improvement. And – once again – I have admired and encouraged his efforts to do so. And that’s when I had my naughty thought.

    As a nascent domestic domme with no capital letters I am not looking to do full-on lifestyle Domme-ly stuff, especially with a casual, ongoing relationship. But could a NddWNCL impose tasks and expectations to help a FwB improve his life? So of course, I got the giggles at the thought – I could be his kinky Probation Officer/Life Coach!

    I suggested it to him after he had done my washing up dressed as my maid, and he liked the idea. So he is going to keep a log/punishment-achievement book and I will supervise his progress with appropriate rewards and punishments. He’ll list an appropriate menu of rewards and punishments to choose from so he keeps control of boundaries and consent, and I shall see how it works…

    Years back when I was fully in spankee iteration I wrote a story about a spanking Life Coach. Must look it up…

  • Small pleasures of the non-erotic kind

    After our week of thick-jumper-and-waterproof-footwear-enhanced-nudity and a weekend at his place my Poly free spirit and I are having a weekend to ourselves. Obviously – as per my ramblings here – he does still have my passing thoughts, but a weekend to myself is a source of many small pleasures.

    Friday began with tai chi qi gong in a church with sunshine streaming through the stained glass. Stretching my body and feeling its flexibility is a delight, and there is a transcendental feeling that is sometimes glimpsed for me when the moves reach out and up if I am at one with myself despite my usually racing brain.

    There was also some desultory tidying and moving things off the floor as the cleaners were expected! I made sure that my bondage kit straps were definitely safely tucked up under the mattress, but they can make what they will of the soft ties and stockings enhancing the foot of my wrought metal bed.

    And although I don’t like housework, I do love a tidy, clean house, so was delighted with the results. No apparent breakages and although some of my stuff was – as usual – rearranged, at least there was symmetry! So – a good result as I surveyed my domain and decided to take my clothes off!

    I spent the rest of the day until dusk naked in the conservatory. I listened to podcasts of radio 4 stuff, did puzzles, played online Scrabble and read. I have half a dozen or so Scrabble opponents – unknown, except for the friend who introduced me to the site and my delightful PFS. I love Scrabble, so this newish experience of online Scrabble is a real pleasure. In terms of the people I play, my introductory friend, is a good match for me, and my PFS is becoming so!* I win the majority of games among the rest.

    I still love hanji/picture logic/nonogram puzzles and have magazines of giant sized ones. I have however, been seduced – as so often! – by pads of mixed puzzles. I make myself do them in order, so I have to wait for the pleasure of my favourites and get an irritated enjoyment from the inevitable word searches. I am unbelievably slow with both word searches and sudoku but very dogged!

    And my reading pleasures are varied. As well as recent delves into stuff I’ve read before and new novels I’ve uploaded to my tablet, there is the joy of library books and borrowed books.

    An unplanned read was Harry’s “Spare”. Not sure how it came up, but a friend in her fifties said she had an unread copy and I said I was an anti-royal republican, who was curious about the book and believed him to have genuine grievances against the media and his own family. Having read the book my views are the same, just with more back-up plus more info about the royal (ex-royal?) appendage than I particularly wanted – Seems a good idea to avoid frostbite! It was an easy read, if not the most riveting, and while I think he and Meghan can be toe-curlingly naff, I believe they really have been treated appallingly.

    My current and joyful read while naked in the conservatory is “Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl” – an amazing find from the library of a shape shifting young gay man into  a lesbian and differing versions of his male body. It has magical hints and is interspersed with myth, folk and fairy tales and a reflection on 90s queer culture,politics and attitudes in America – fascinating and provocative.

    *We have a running joke/battle over competitiveness. I am definitely competitive, but I will swear that I am far less so than him! We both like winning, but I believe he does so more than me. While not seriously good at Scrabble, I am above average and enjoy winning. I am more challenged at Rummikub, and I suspect now he has played it a few times since I introduced him to it, he may have the edge, but I think I do at Scrabble! He however, competes against his sister and friends at Wurdle – Welsh and English and some quizzes and I believe there’s a WhatsApp for their results…

    My moment of amusement came when we did a pub quiz together on holiday and it became obvious that the holder of the pen was not just the one with the final decision but the one who needed to get to the right answer before his team mate (me!) and has the right to dismiss said team mate if he thinks he’s right! I conceded that it was The Who and not Elton John’s version of “Pinball Wizard” but it mattered not – he’d ignored me anyway and wrote his answer with no consultation.

    This week I quizzed with two female friends who know the serious quizzers and the sneaky youngsters with their smartphones will beat us, but still loved having a go. But we consult and get a majority decision each time. The wielding of the pen is a chore not a symbol of power. I was very amused by the difference, although I know how competitive one of them is who is currently ahead of me with online Scrabble wins! Competitive? Moi?!

    And of course all of the above is from my perspective only.I believe most of us are unreliable narrators even when striving for honesty and truth. I will soon find out what my lovely PFS thinks!

  • Passing Spinsterly Thoughts – bondage and stuff

    As I was driving home from tai chi I started to muse – as one does – on my lovely polyamorous free spirit I’m sort of dating and his determination not to “settle down”. He obviously has his own history and “journey” as he is not a life-long batchelor, but it occurred to me that when he says “settle down” he really means “tied down”. I was thinking – of course – metaphorically, as the term usually means an emotional and public attachment to one other person. And of course my brain immediately slid from metaphor to reality and I got the giggles. He absolutely would love to be tied down – as long as ropes, chains, bindings and/or cuffs are involved and there’s a time limit!

    He loves bondage! And he happily stays secured in uncomfortable positions alone at the whim of his Mistress. And unsurprisingly – as I have witnessed – he will happily be constrained for pain, teasing and pleasure.

    My LPFSetc has caught up with my blogs and informed me that he sees me as “settled and comfortable” I decided on faux-outrage and informed him that he made me sound like I could be his granny! I decided he should pay for the insult so I think next time I see him I will have to test the bondage kit now hidden below my mattress and – hopefully – out of sight of my lovely cleaners! And the nipple clamps and pin wheel must be feeling neglected too…

    Of course – I AM settled and comfortable and like to think I make friends and lovers feel the same. But – hey – a bit of contrariness adds to the spice of spicy vanilla! And I did thank him nicely for his feedback and acknowledge him as my initial muse and established lover – wonder if those are roles one could put on a CV…!

  • Further Spinsterly Ramblings…

    Well I’m now back to (relative) civilisation and my lovely home. I loved our naturist holiday although neither the weather nor the ambience were quite what I’d expected.

    On our final day we saw some caravanners including a naked bloke getting something from his car. And I had a naked walk around the lagoon and a paddle in said water. My lovely Polyamorous friend-with-benefits was fully clothed as we were ready to go home – and it was easier for me to pull my dress over my head than for him to divest himself of jeans, t-shirt etc.

    As said – I normally write upstairs at desktop, but thought I’d have a go of doing so in the conservatory on my phone. I can always edit on computer and it’s nice to sit here for a change as I reflect on life, the universe and the trivia that is this spinster’s life.

    Luckily for me I love being away and also love coming back to my little house and my routines, so win-win. I have caught up with The Archers, read The Observer, done some puzzles and enjoyed an afternoon – and now evening – in the conservatory. I enjoyed the earlier light and warmth of the limited sun and am now basking in the radiant heat and light available on this quiet evening at home.

    It’s over a year since I turned 70 and decided to enjoy new adventures, and a year last week since I first met the fabulous PF-w-B who has kept me entertained and helped broaden my horizons, so a time for reflections.

    My PF-w-B is absolutely certain he doesn’t want to ‘settle down’ and I get that, but realise I see myself as ‘settled down’ although not exactly conventionally! The fact I love my home and routines makes me feel settled – if not ‘settled down’. I wanted adventures of the intimate and erotic kind, but was open to what they may be like.

    Finding a polyamorous free spirit was exhilarating and enjoying ‘sort-of-dating’ as long as it suits us is fabulous. And while I was happy that he had his Domme, and we were both open to other adventures, I never expected to feel as open to all sorts of possibilities as I do now. I just love our switchy, spicy vanilla, casual intimacy and companionship.

    I am also excited for him and his potential fun with others as well as his special bond with his Domme and his future planned Domme/sub events. And I seem to have acquired a trainee sub to match my trainee domestic domme in my Spiritual Elf. And it appears that my updated profile on a certain site is getting mild interest so who knows what the future will bring?!

  • Back to basics – Second attempt…





    The joys of 4G and limited internet…

    Well   it just seemed rude and ungrateful not to have sex on holiday and in such a lovely place. Once again, lovely relaxed vanilla and I was enjoying every moment of his attention
    and Wicked Willy seemed quite perky and responsive too… And we’d reached the
    point where I like to reach for my battery-charged little friend but I’d forgotten to pack it !

    I’d been impressed when I arrived at his place and he was not only packed, but his stuff was in the car already. And then en-route, I discovered he’d not packed any food despite being in charge of catering for the week! Still – easily remedied by a trip to the supermarket.

    I’d realised I’d forgotten all my lovely toys of hitting and teasing, and it was only later I realised I didn’t even have my trusty bullet -Whoops! We are souch anorganised pair!

    Luckily where we got to the vibe bit, of our holiday delight, I discovered my
    fingers do actually still know their way around and I managed a pleasant enough low-tech orgasm and encouraged him and WW to a suitable finale as well.

    Meanwhile there’s enough sun for us to sit around naked in the cottage, encouraged by a radiator for back up. And I had a somewhat chilly but pleasant naked tai chi session in the garden earlier, accompanied by some very chatty – and possibly  disgruntled – sparrows. Some of whom flew onto the roof to keep an eye on me!

    We did have a trip out in search of playing cards and corn flour, and I got somewhat over-excited in Aldi and Asda but I’ve calmed down now and enjoying the late sunshine of a rather blustery day and gathering my thoughts.

    Playing cards was fun – like an old-fashioned caravan holiday. And at some point I will wend my way upstairs to post this missive into the ether – not that basic I guess…

     


  • Back to basics

  • So vanilla…

    So here I am fully clothed at a naturist site with my Established Lover wondering what to do… Obviously it’s unrealistic to be continually
    sexually active, but the weather prevents us from communing with nature and his binoculars are sadly under-used although he did see a woodpecker yesterday.

    I am between books and having a break from various puzzles and have no Internet access unless I go upstairs. I seem to have failed to
    download my usual document writer onto my tablet so wondering if I can do a blog entry on my phone. So far all entries have been written at home on my desktop.


    I believe I was planning to write about some very satisfying vanilla we enjoyed the weekend before last – now seems an age away!


    It was awfully good though – just that nice easy morning sex that starts with a snog and doesn’t stop. And of course – as so often – once my
    boobs are getting attention I become totally useless, while he is remarkably competent! And after him driving me crazy, I had a delightful vibe-assisted orgasm and fucking seems a really nice idea…


    One of the things that happens to me – and I’ve not swapped notes to find out how common it is – is post-orgasm I am ridiculously wet, but I also
    become quite tight. I assume that the area swells up. This can make actual intercourse a bit challenging and/or painful. Usually only enough to be sexy rather than a real problem.

    Anyway – one of my favourite positions – especially for quite lazy, relaxed sex – is what I believe is called scissoring(?).  It means I’m lying on my side with a leg under and over him so I can draw my legs up and around him. So that’s what we did and although it’s quite an open position and allows deep penetration, it did feel tight. And it left me a little sore, although I seemed to expand enough to cope! And it was a pleasant soreness and fabulous reminder of the fun
    we had.

    During his hard work I was very aware of his every move and my reactions but I was also imaging a quite complex set-up where he was running
    a class on controlling a female partner and demonstrating how compliant I was when
    receiving attention to my breasts. He then demonstrated my obedience and
    ordered me into various positions for spanking, paddling and caning or sexual attention while the class looked on…

    And meanwhile in his head was a little film show where two women were dominating and teasing him – I believe at a table – and he was about
    to lose his clothes…

    I just love spicy vanilla!

    So back to the present. This is the first time I’ve written a blog post when with him although he has no idea what I’m doing on my phone. He’ll read it though, when I post and he gets an alert. His phone signal is better than mine!

    So – We were both fully dressed after a trip out and due to inclement weather. However, he has just turned on the fire and removed his
    jeans and pants, and is sat at the table doing puzzles in just an open shirt – says he had decided to get back into the spirit of things! Now it’s warming up I guess I should too. The weather’s not been brilliant but we have been mainly
    naked in the cottage and have spent time in a covered area that is a suntrap as well, but not seen anyone else nearby or when we’ve been walking around the nature trails . Other residents are caravanners and clothing is optional.

    I did outdoor tai chi qi gong naked  in the garden and in the underused covered area yesterday and the day before, which was lovely. Done it outside before, but first time naked – I recommend it!

    Time to take my clothes off and attempt to send this missive into the big wide world – apologies for typos!

    So now upstairs and naked under a padded, open shirt! The world is looking very watery and misty as I attempt to send this…

     

     


  • Naked sub washing up…

    …So much for not taking advantage!

    And when I say naked – not quite – as he was wearing my lovely polka dot red pinny, which looked unbelievably naughty with a bare bottom…

    So – to begin at the beginning. After my musings on taking advantage of sub men, I had of course exploited my lovely regular polyamorous, sub-identifying f-w-b-etc with foot massage, full body massage and other attentions as stated and to our mutual satisfaction.

    Meanwhile my Subby Spiritual Elf was rather keen to play again after receiving a spanking from the headmistress. We’ve seen each other a couple of time since, but just ate and chilled. So I was keen to find out what floated his boat. He’d expressed an interest in “serving” and “Woman-clothed/man-naked” stuff, so I asked for more.

    I was remembering that when I first unleashed my nascent Domestic Domme on my fabulous RPS-IFwBetc I concocted a scenario of neglected wife and surprised him with my “grievances” – having to play second fiddle to the rugby and having to put up with a non-functioning doorbell and lightbulb. He had watched the rugby – and I was fine about it. But I’d never asked him to fix my lightbulb or doorbell. Although I do remember he did do both afterwards. I realise that as I like to be a good hostess, I tend not to ask him to do stuff, but in fairness he is always willing when I do so – Hmmm – something to think about…

    Anyway! – I digress – So I asked the lovely SSE about his ideas and fantasies, and serving was definitely on the list! And I had somewhat neglected my washing up for a while – and yes – he was up for household chores- including washing up. And he’d happened to bring me a pair of black stockings I’d tried on for fit.

    So I ordered him out of his clothes to get us a cuppa and he complied. I decided he could sit on the floor and drink his, while I silently planned my next moves. I ordered him into the kitchen and told him to put the pinny on. He fumbled with the ties, so I told him off for incompetence and tied it in a very fetching bow. I gave him exact-ish instructions regarding my washing up and after some slaps with my trusty hairbrush and initial supervision left him to it.

    I took off my dress and considered my options. I chose a black leather-look corset and a pvc black and purple skirt – which went well with the sheer black hold-ups.- and grabbed some implements. His washing up was going well, but more supervision was required and a good amount of attention from my lovely hitty toys. He was told that in the future he would be punished for wrong-doing and simply because I could do so at my whim. And he agreed.

    I then undid his pinny and ordered him upstairs where I continued the work with my various toys to my pleasure and his manageability. I was aware he was not as battle-hardened as my regular partner-in-crime, but he took a fair amount and I used his phone so he had some photographic evidence of his striped and reddened bottom.

    After all my hard work it was time for me to be rewarded, and I got a very nice massage and breast-worship and vibed myself to a very satisfactory orgasm. He seemed content and did not require any attention from either of us so we just chilled for a while before some TV watching with him in stockings, suspenders, see-thru black net polka-dotted knickers under a white blouse and very short, pleated skirt.

    He soon lost the skirt as it was uncomfortable, and went off to make a cuppa. I can’t remember why I went into kitchen – possibly foraging for chocolate? – but I found him in the dark and attempting to mop up a flood around my water heater/kettle substitute – and like the misquoted Queen Vic – I was not amused! It seemed he was making tea in the dark in case my neighbours could see him! We mopped up the mess and I gave him several good slaps, on the grounds that attempting tea-making in the dark was foolish.

    I guess some further boundary setting needed – I like idea of firm but fair, but perhaps a more capricious, less logical mistress may be more exciting? I know he likes aftercare. So much to learn…!