The Spinster's Exploits

At 54 I became single and this evolved into a friends with benefits philosophy as I wanted fun, intimacy and sex and didn’t want to hang around waiting for Mr Right. If he came along, I was more than happy to change my lifestyle, but I wasn’t going to just hang around hoping, when there are so many Mr GoodEnoughs out there. This kind of morphed into polyamory and has worked well for me this past 17 years, but can be hard for some to get their heads around.

A while back I met a pleasant, easy-going Mr GoodEnough and he was bruised from a recent break up. It seemed he had been unfaithful. He was very easy company – one of those men so laid back that he was practically horizontal as they say. He seemed happy with on-going no-strings casual, but I suspect was used to a partner’s disapproval!

He was one of the laziest men I’d ever met, but that was fine. I’d ask him about his week and to my amusement, he’d start to list any achievements which may be true or not… I would remind him he was his own man and tell him I wasn’t his wife or Probation Officer! And that has kind of become my mantra, explaining to men that having me in their life didn’t mean guilt trips and duties. I expect to be treated with respect and consideration – as I treat them. As long as they are not compromising their health and well-being, I feel their behaviour is not my business. As a friend, however, I would be concerned if I thought they were in a bad place and would always try to be supportive – the joys of boundaries in a complex world!

So – I have been thinking about my Subby Spiritual Elf. When we were friends with benefits before, he was actively improving his life and seemed to get a lot from encouragement and my approval. I knew he was a cross dresser but he hadn’t “come out” as subby although he knew I was a spankee. As a friend I was happy to support his self-improvement efforts.

And now he is back in my life naked, or dressed as a maid and doing my washing up when not being a bedroom slave. He’s been through some other changes of lifestyle, and once again, looking to self-improvement. And – once again – I have admired and encouraged his efforts to do so. And that’s when I had my naughty thought.

As a nascent domestic domme with no capital letters I am not looking to do full-on lifestyle Domme-ly stuff, especially with a casual, ongoing relationship. But could a NddWNCL impose tasks and expectations to help a FwB improve his life? So of course, I got the giggles at the thought – I could be his kinky Probation Officer/Life Coach!

I suggested it to him after he had done my washing up dressed as my maid, and he liked the idea. So he is going to keep a log/punishment-achievement book and I will supervise his progress with appropriate rewards and punishments. He’ll list an appropriate menu of rewards and punishments to choose from so he keeps control of boundaries and consent, and I shall see how it works…

Years back when I was fully in spankee iteration I wrote a story about a spanking Life Coach. Must look it up…